Street safety in a world designed for men
Reading a book on data bias in a world designed for men has opened up a plethora of thoughts, this post is personal yet universal and I wanted to reflect by putting them in words
I am reading this brilliant book titled “Invisible women”, and I had all the old memories of a stalking incident rush through my head, this happened 10 years, you read that right (a decade ago).
So much has changed, I am older now. I no longer use public transportation, but yet so much hasn’t changed. I still don’t lower my guard when walking in a crowded street, I am borderline worried when I take a stroll at night, I don’t run on empty roads.
“Urban planning that fails to account for women’s risk of being sexually assaulted is a clear violation of women’s equal right to public spaces”
“62% of women are scared walking in multistorey car parks, 60% are scared waiting on train platforms, 49% are scared waiting at the bus stop. The figures for men are 31%, 25%, and 20% respectively” - Invisible women, chapter 2.
Data here is shocking, yet convincing because I am part of this statistics.
I was once part of the 60% women who are scared waiting on train platforms, why? Because a stranger, almost teen looking male decided he was going to stalk me every single day for months! I was a 23 year old with minimum resources but my only empowerment was the access to public transport, but when this was challenged and made unsafe one feels very inadequate.
These were my thoughts 10 years ago. Read on
“How does it feel to notice the same person waiting every single day on the railway platform to board the same train as one does, board the same share-cab as one does and walk down the same lanes as one does? Sheer co-incidence you might say if it was once in a blue moon , but every single day and the same pattern for few weeks?
I couldn’t take it anymore. I was patient initially, I missed trains only to notice him doing the same and boarding the same train as I did. He made sure that he’d board the same share-cab as I did and walk through the same lanes which lead to my workplace. I was patient again, but after few days it just got too creepy. I found that he went till the end of the street where my work place was and later turned to walk back in the same street.
How many days is one expected to do the same? And I found it irksome. Early in the morning I can’t be anticipating a stalker. It was emotionally traumatizing. I usually rant a lot on twitter, but I was very silent about this because I had fear of mockery , and also I din’t want an image as a damsel in distress.”
The thought of being dismissed for something that I was truly scared about made me not speak about it.
As I read this chapter on stalking, and sexual harassment I revisited my pensive of memories. Did my stalker cat call me? Did he try to physically engage with me? Did he use abusive slurs at me? The answer for all questions is a NO, yet I felt my privacy violated. So, was it just me? Am I just playing victim?
Someone need not cat call you, they needn’t attempt to engage with you yet can make you feel powerless, violated, and scared.
Indian movies glorify stalking, this is how a men (don’t all men me here) learn what love (or the idea of what is portrayed as love) is.
I am not blaming movies alone here. I have had conversations where this is how many real life stories of romance began, in stalking!
To just follow a woman in a public space, stare at her endlessly, board the same bus as her everyday and just being where ever she is has been the plot line of famous movies and accepted as “love”.
Fun fact: It isn’t.
I was aware enough to reach out to Hollaback in my city, which gave me a space to talk about intimidating but just short of criminal behaviour I faced in public space on daily basis. But, public awareness of this is almost non-existent.
Access to safe public space is a basic right, women, people of other genders (other than cis male) can confirm, offer countless stories about how they felt unsafe in using public transport, walking at night, or while waiting to board a bus. What we all forget and not understand fully well is, everytime a person who talks about safety in public spaces the solution or reaction seems to be the following
why did you take public transport?
why were you so late?
what were you wearing?
why were you alone?
Classic blaming and shaming. Most of us end up not reporting crimes that happen in public spaces for the exact reason, the bias, intimidation, and fear of judgement is appalling.
Our attempts as a society to make public places, and transport accessible and available for everyone is extremely low. Because fixing the actual problem is tough, whereas offering unsolicited solutions and advice is free and easy.
The book also presents data that these acts of stalking, catcalling and harassment by men are apparently less for women when accompanied by other men- this should make us reflect and question how deep rooted and patriarchal these issues are.
There are apps to report street harassment, and stalking now, which is a welcome, awareness and importance of making public spaces safe is a long process.
I recently saw the Nirbhaya Squad campaign which put me to tears because this wasn’t the same 10 years ago, all my old memories came rushing back, but it also means that change is possible!
(this was directed by Rohit Shetty whose movies glorifies all things in toxic male behaviour but I am going to look only at the positives here, because like I said change is possible, and the world can actually be a better, and safer place for women, and people of all genders to operate)
So if you are interested in starting up and solving problems, especially in the ethical space these are some areas that you can focus on. The number of young people working on side-projects today is aplenty, so if you are one do take up causes that will cause real impact.
Reporting street harassment
Sex-ed and awareness program guides for schools and educational institutions
Parental guides to assist, listen, and help teens to navigate public spaces
Create tik-toks, reels, guides, shorts, vlogs about harassment, stalking, do’s and don’t’s
Guides on How to offer non-judgemental support to someone who has suffered a street harassment
I am sure there are more, I have listed what is on the top of my mind. Do let me know your thoughts or reach out to me if you want to work on any particular ethical project where I can also contribute.
Pages and sites you can visit/support
City of women pod
Do read Invisible women and this journal to gain deeper understanding on the data bias in a world designed for men.
Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing this!